Tear Drops On My Guitar

The title of this post is apperently a real song title. It was one of the worst things I have ever heard. So I of course had to share it with you all. Anyways, I am getting ahead of myself. Good morning everyone. I hope you feel refreshed, re-energized, revitalized, re-everything for the day. I don't feel too exhausted today. I keep getting my second winds a third, fourth, fifth time, etc. I am listening to my friend Will's jazz improv set. It is a weird thing to wake up and listen too. Especially since it isn't metal. But it is not bad. You all know me. I am not a huge fan of the straight up jazz. I like my jazz fused with more interesting music. The sections of just long notes on the horn over and over again gets pretty boring. I figure, if I can do it, it isn't too great. But Will is a great drummer. I could watch him drum all day. I watched Goodfellas again last night. And I do mean again as I have seen it going on ten times now. Such a great Scorsese film. Such a great gangster film. I love gangster films. I mean Mob gangster. Not Snoop Gangsta. I have this little candle lantern thing out on my balcony.

The candle has melted into a puddle in it. Haha. What a retarded product. It is supposed to be for outside. But the sun beats through the glass and no candle survives. It was a big candle too so it looks pretty cool. I have never really seen a puddle of wax that big. I should drip it on my nipples and go masturbate. But that is a special occasion I save for when my Mother is around. You know how Windows Media Player has the button that is something along the lines of "find album info"? It goes on the web and automatically brings it up so music you have recieved that is say only listed as tracks 1 through 10, gets all their track names. Well I can't for the life of me figure out how to do that on Windows Media Player 11. I can't figure out why this would be so difficult. It has been so fucking easy my whole life. So if anyone knows. Please let me know. I don't know if anyone uses 11. If you aren't, you should. It is good. This is the only thing that has pissed me off about it. Crashes a shitload less then any of the other ones. Which I guess isn't saying much.

It used to crash on me all the fucking time. It also kicks the shit out of itunes, or whatever the hell it is you kids with ipods use these days. Have I told you all that I figured out what ipod is backwards? Maybe a guy at the brainstorming sessions saw "pod!" written upside down and thought to name "ipod". I am not sure. But it would be interesting to know. But so you all know. Ipods suck balls. They are far more expensive then any of the competition and for some reason far outsell them even though I always hear complaints about how they are shyte. Mine is a six gig RCA. RCA is a good name. It was also fifty bucks cheaper then a four gig ipod. No fucking way I thought that was worth it. It also works beautifully. You all know that any device that plays music is used a fuck of a lot by me. I want to eat shark a lot. Apperently you have to be careful eating it because shark contains mercury. Which of course at high enough levels will kill you. I remember when I was at a young age. Like I mean young. Twelve or thirteen. I even contemplated suicide in that teenage angsty way.

I always had decided if I did I would do it with the bubble of mercury that is in the furnace thermostat. I was always incredibly fascinated by metal that stays in a bubble but also doesn't harden. It intrigued me. Maybe if I ever decide to kill myself, I will inject that shit right into one of my eyes. Though drug overdose is my preffered method. That is what I will do if I ever get lung cancer or some shit. No way I am going to struggle through it gasping for every exhausting breath for three years of my life. Fuck that. I will probably go withdraw all my savings, travel, get really fucked up, then take the last trip I will ever have on heroine, or liquid LSD. That would be a romantic way to go. Sorry ladies. My romantic end does not involve you. It involves adventure. I haven't decided where I would want to die yet. Probably in front of a bunch of kindergarten kids. Haha. I was telling Jaime on the phonwe the other night that that would be a great way to go. Kill yourself in front of a bunch of small children just so you can fuck up a few lives with your death.

Cost some parents an assload in psychiatrist bills. Haha. That would be such a cruel heartless thing to do. But something you would never have to face the consequences of. See that is the beauty of being an athiest and death. That is the one time in your life that you believe you wil face no consequences. So you could theoretically do some fucked up shit with your death. It could definately be an adventure. That is assuming it is a death you are controlling. I could walk out my door today and be hit by a truck and that would be that. Wouldn't be my way. But I also wouldn't care. Because I would be dead. I am so fascinated by the end. And I do believe it is the end. I don't believe it is a step to another journey beyond what we understand. I believe that is just the cop out answer for those fucks whose minds can't grasp the concept of their life having a shelf life. Just like everything else. I am perfectly at peace with the idea of dying. I sure as fuck don't want to live forever. I am comforted by knowing there is an end somewhere. I don't why the fuck people like to grasp onto eternity. Eternity seems pretty shitty to me. I hate the idea of forever and I don't believe it exists. Anyways, I should stop this post before it goes on forever. Haha. I hope you all have a gorgeous day. Cheers!