Fire Above, Ice Below

Good morning kids. I crashed out hardcore last night I was so tired. I dreamt a lot as well. I may get into that in a bit. I have had similar dreeams two nights in a row. But I had forgotten I had dreamt about it two nights ago until I woke up this morning and realized I had dreamt again last night and I connected it to the night before. I think having such regulated days and a vicious brutal schedule is making me all strange. Last night soon after I got home from work I was incredibly emotional. I felt like I was a 14 year old. I cried over absolutely nothing last night. It was literally nothing. I think some gay shit in some hourly weekly T.V. show. I was snippy and just all around feeling out of control of my emotions. I am pretty sure it was because of how tired I was though. I just didn't have the energy to do what is normal in everyday life. Keeping your stupid human side in check. But yes. The last two nights for some reason I have dreamt of being in places of absolutely extreme poverty. I think both times I was in Africa. I don't vividly remember the first one I had.

But I remember bits and pieces of last nights. I remember I was in a city though. But it was very empty and desolate except for one little girl. She was standing beside this really tall condo building made out of those plastic milk cartons thhat grocery stores get their milk delivered in. I remember I asked her where her home and her parents were. She pointed way up at the only bright yellow milk carton that was in the construction of the building. She never said a word to me though. I just remember the whole look on her face and how skinny and destroyed a young body has ever looked was the saddest thing I have ever seen. Then she gave me a piece of paper and the wind took her away. I woke up just as I was trying to read what was on the paper. What was on that paper will bug me forever. I am hoping I can continue the dream. But that pretty much never happens to me. But I also don't want to get into the pretentious discussions of dreams and what they mean etc. I never really liked the conversation after Waking Life sparked it.

For one thing I just disliked the movie period. I found it boring. It seemd like a conglamoration of a million philosphies that were discussed in high school. But if possible it seemed a bit more idealistic and naive then that. The movie didn't give me any great insight to anything and I hated the explosion of people who claimed it as their cinematic bible. Anyways I should move on from this topic. I am sure I have a reader base who loved that movie considering you can't throw a rock into a gathering of two people without hitting someone that claims the movie "changed their life." I stopped writing here for almost an hour. I got caught up in conversation. So this is going to be kind of a halt and stop thought process probably. But that is alright. Today isn't a double shift and it is a closing shift. So I got to sleep in and shit. It almost feels like a day off! I like closing shifts at times. Because it is the time when people are off of work and I can sell more wine. But sometimes I just don't like working at night. I like getting up early and being done in normal people hours.

I am definately cut out for a nine to five monday to friday life. That I can do no problem. Speaking of Richard Linklater. A lot of my friends say A Scanner Darkly is really good. Even the few friends of mine who didn't like Waking Life. They say it is nothing like it besides the shooting style. So I plan on seeing it. He is a hit and miss director\writer for me. I didn't like Suburbia at all. But I love Dazed and Confused. Maybe it is because I have a fetish for spanking. Haha. Who knows. I am too distracted to continue on this whole blogging thing I think. I will come back on other day with more for you all. I hope you all are having a lovely day. Cheers!