Regurgitated lullaby for the born dead.

So I downloaded the new Canvas Solaris album yesterday and have just finished listening to it. It is called Cortical Tectonics. It is instrumental and really good. Download it and listen to it. Seriously. Top-notch art. Lauren is meeting up with me when I am done work today. I am excited. That girl is fairly intelligent for youngun. Probably smarter then I was at her age. But shhhh. Don't repeat that I said that out loud. Myself gets mad at me if I ever speak disparagingly of him. He\I'm very sensitive. I hurt my feelings too often. I have been up for over an hour now and I haven't had a cigarette. Mind-blowing. I should get on that. I shall get on that. I just had two in a row to catch up on my lack of nicotene thus far this morning. So now I am ready to tackle this. Today will be the first full day of summer. I am probably going to spend some part of it in the park drinking. You all know how much I love parks and drinking in them when the weather is nice. One reason why I need to move to a warmer climate somday. Well, not warmer. Just warm year round. I have a huge load to do at work today. I am still kind of worried about where I am going to put it all.

Our storage space is pretty small. I am going to have to get pretty creative to fit it all. But it isn't just a matter of fitting it all in the shed. I have to make sure you can read the boxes so you know what wine is in which. I will figure it out. I got invited to Trish's birthday party next Friday at some club here in Mississauga. She is a girl who works at the hot counter inside the grocery store that my Wine Rack is located. So she works right beside me. I think she has a crush on me. Which is fine by me. She is hot for a mother of two. I need to fool around with a MILF. Well I have before. But it has been a while. But Mother's have a tendency to get attached to boys they fool around with. They would like to settle down. Having babies will do that to a lady I guess. Obviously I don't want to settle down. I am too young. Plus, I don't know if I ever want to completely settle down. Having a family is a life sentence. A huge emotional investment into a unit that has a high rate of failure. Especially in this day and age.

I figure it is better to never have a family then to have one and it be torn apart by two people not getting along\loving each other anymore. Apperently this club is amazing. It is huge and nice and looks like a place that should cost fifty bucks to get into. But it only costs ten. I mine as well start hanging out with people here in Mississauga. I don't have much of a social life unless I am in Toronto. But then again, when I am here I am always working usually, so it doesn't matter to much to me. I had a weird dream last night about me and who used to be one of my best friends during my teen years. My old friend Colin. We don't speak anymore and I don't know why I dreamt about him. But I dreamt about us making up and talking again. I was really happy in the dream about it. So I looked for him on Facebook today and added him. He is in Toronto. It would be nice to talk to him again. Reunions have their appeal. But he may not want to talk to me. He was an asshole to me through out a lot of our friendship and I was pretty forgiving to him until it went really wrong somewhere.

I don't even remember why or how it fell apart. But it did. We lived in Windsor together briefly. Fuck I hated living there. It was a terrible city. I had no friends there except who I was living with. It was incredibly lonely and I grew very depressed there. So I left after only two months. Moved back into the Owen Sound area. After that I think we hung out a couple times and then no more. He moved to Stratford or something and I lost track of him after that. Seems like everyone hits up this city sooner or later. Funny how a lot of the important people to me in my life from back home and elsewhere in Canada, ended up moving to the city eventually. It seems like the centre of all things good. Even Nicole moved here. From Montreal. Which is an amazing city. Those who haven't gone yet, should go. the bars are open until 3 there. You can buy booze in convenience stores. But one of the best things about it is no longer true anymore. You used to be able to smoke everywhere in that city. Really sucks that they legislate that away from the French.

You shouldn't take away their ability to smoke where they please. I am sure lots of nervous Fathers would smoke in the maternity ward waiting for thei kid to be birthed. Haha, wouldn't that be a great place to smoke. I am pretty sure it has been many years since you could smoke in a hospital. But there was a time when you could of course. I want to hit up Sauble Beach sometime this summer. I love going there. It is beautiful. A great place to drink on the beach. Smoke a joint and just relax. Jump in the water if the urge strikes me. Or just lay in the sun if it doesn't. Beautiful women and the sounds of volley ball are pleasent to the senses. Jimmy and I spent a summer hitch hiking there a lot and smoking pot on this little sand dune that had bushes partially covering us so we could be discreet about smoking a bowl. that was a great summer that I will never forget. We smoked a fuckload of green, that is for sure. I need to hitch hike soon. Been a long time since I have gone a sumemr without hitch hiking at all.

Maybe I will hitch hike up to Sauble sometime soon. It is so hard to plan shit like that though when I never have two days off in a row. I haven't for a month or two now. Probably at least two. When Will came up to Toronto I think was the last time I had two days off in a row. That was in March I think. But I will have three days off in a row for Summerfolk. That will be absolutely beautiful and I can't wait. I love camping a lot. I don't do it near enough anymore. But at least I will have gone twice this summer. Both times I have gone to the Sound. I think I am going to wrap this up for the day. Finish prepping myself for work. I am already showered and dressed and shit. By prepping I mean just sit on the balcony a bit drinking more coffee and smoking more cigarettes. I hope you all have a lovely day. It is the first full day of summer after all. How can you not? Cheers!