Candy cane dildos. 'Tis the season.

Good morning everyone. I am really fucking tired. I don't know why really. I guess I haven't recovered from my weekend fully yet. But I didn't really expect too. I hear once you lose sleep. You have lost it for good. There is no such thing as catching up. Your body must sustain the damage. If that is actually the case, my body has taken a lot of "lack of sleep" damage. It is pretty hard for me to focus right now. Not just my mind. But even my eyes. Hopefully this potent coffee I made clears away the cobwebs. I can't believe it is almost officially summer. All the kiddies seem to be excited. I only care because the weather changes. Not much else about my life does. this is why I need to work where it is beautiful year round. Someone send me to the Caribbean. I promise I will marry you and support you the rest of your life if you do. Provided you are somewhat good looking of course. I was also thinking of taking a little hitch hiking adventure. I want to go with someone I don't know very well. I figure two of you by yourself on the open road, you will get to know each other fairly quickly.

I am all about the speedy connections. None of this slow, tedious, relationship building bullshit. It bores me. Being on the open road period kicks a lot of ass anyway. Go with a tequilla filled watermelon. Enough cigarettes to pollute that stretch of road more then a caravan of hummers. Chocolate covered coffee beans since coffee is a bitch to bring with you when hitch hiking. A couple hits of acid. Just because I have them and it could be fun. My Aunt Nelly is visiting us right now. I hadn't seen her since I was a wee little gaffer. She is a striking 83 years old. She is absolutely stunning for her age. I told her so yesterday. She seriously looks like a great 65. I didn't think she would like me because she is so proper and such. But she called me a "charming young man". I guess me telling her she is beautiful won her heart. Also the fact that I can play a mean game of euchre probably did it as well. I love how Facebook lets me know when people I barely know break-up. It makes me want to mock it heartlessly. Just because Facebook is a rediculous community to have your relational status.

Just always put "It's complicated". People will ask less qestions and not really know what is going on. Who gives a fuck about whether you are dating or not. I don't. Nor do I care about broken hearts, lost dreams, and the like. It is all incredibly pretentious and bores me. My Aunt and Uncle are coming over tonight.They want to see my Aunt Nelly. I have some nice wine that I will serve with the roast beef. I am getting a lot of satisfied customers at work. More and more everyday. Often someone will come in and tell me that I reccomended an amazing bottle of wine for them last time they were here and ask me which one it was because it was so good. I of course cannot remember what I reccomend to what people. I tell them so. Then just continue to ask them what they are serving and such and give them another good reccomendation. You know you have a pleased customer when they say "goodbye Trevor". A lot of people don't use your name. But the really satisfied ones do. My name tag is worn on my chest after all. But it is weird for me.

Them being able to call me by name but I can't call them by name. We should start making customers wear nametags. Maybe the world would be a bit more friendly. Jon is coming into town next weekend. But I won't be able to see him. Well that is obvious since I am missing Jimmy's big going away party for Nicole and Mike. Which is unfortunate. What a weekend to be missing out on. Oh well. You got to do what you got to do. I am going on an Inniskillin wine tour soon. I am really excited about that. My boss will be driving us up to the Niagara region. i get to wonder in some vineyards. See the huge cellar rooms with oak and steel casks full of wine sitting there and aging. It will be an impressive site. I can't wait to taste their new vintage of Meritage Reserve. Apperently it is the best year yet. It was already amazing. Nice full bodied red. Smokey under tones with a blackberry finish. It looks like it is going to really storm today. I really hope it does. Storms I like. Well the ones of a warm nature. Snow storms and all that. Fuck them. But a thunderstorm.

It puts me in awe of mother nature even though she can be a whore sometimes. I just saw a picture of a guy who stapled his penis to his inner thigh. Impressive. Ouch. Some people seem to have no pain threshold. though that would come inhandy I am sure. I wish I could bear unmeasurable amounts of pain. that would be a large amount of power. Considering most manipulation and most ways people force you to do something you don't want to do is through pain. Whether physical or emotional. Imagine if you could handle an unlimited amount of emotional pain. No one could torture your friends and family and get to you. Because you could handle it. Just the ability to remove yourself from that would give you great power over all the abstract forces at work. Though I highly doubt I will ever have to deal with anything of that nature. I don't have anything that anyone powerful wants that I know of. Maybe that is the best way to be. So I decided it would be fun to just get married on a whim to someone I don't really know.

So I am accepting proposals at this current time. If you want to get married to a slightly fucked up, slightly interesting person, let me know. I will interview you for the part in my life of being my wife. I didn't like that unintentional rhyme. But I am too lazy to go back and re-word it. I have discovered that marrying someone you know is too terrifying. Because of the fact that you know them too well. Plus, that is not much of an adventure. Marry a stranger. Life is better. I am in love. Not in the sense that automatically jumps to your mind when you say that. I am not head-struck by some girl. I am just in love with everything right now. So it makes me want to love something kind of thing. Someone. Just temporarily though. I don't believe anything lasts forever. Like every other fucking marriage vow claims. Why do people believe a relationship has to last forever for it to be succesful? No wonder people are always disappointed. They are expecting something almost unachievable. Almost everyone has had failed relationships.

Occasionally someone finds someone to be with until death does them part. But less and less these days. that is because people are getting more and more fucked up. No one can handle each other. Never mind living with each other forever. Watching each others bodies fall apart. Being disgusted and bored by the others annoying habits. Momentary love is where it is at. Those moments of explosion during one night fucks while drunk. Now that is a love that never disappoints. You don't put it on a pedestal. You don't tell yourself it needs to last forever to mean something. You just loved that one person during that small space in time. You look back on it in enjoyment. It had never been tainted by false hopes. Now that is real love folks. Be polyamorous. It is human. I am gonig to wrap this up. I need to work soon. I want to drink more coffee and smoke more. Cheers!