Son of a...

...whore. My back hurts a lot today. Wine movement. i am not sure. Sitting in this fucking chair maybe. I am not worried so much about carpel tunnel as I am about fucking my spine. I am listening to Spawn of Possession. Fuck they are amazing. There albums are like one long riff. Incredibly technically profficient band. They have come out with two perfect albums. There are a few bands with only two albums where they both are perfect. Gorod. Necrophagist. Behold.. The Arctopus. Beneath the Massacre. All of those bands have only two albums and they both are blow your mind incredible. My Grandma tried to convince me to go to bible study with her today. To no avail. Fuck that shit. I don't like to work and then come home, eat, and then go listen to someone and there bullshit. Contrary to popular demend, I don't need prayer either. I need something that is a bit more productive then someone calling out the name of some non-existent abstract idea of an entity to intercede on my behalf with the worlds negative energies or some other such bullshit. I need to travel is what I need.

I need to say "fuck you" to the popularily held view of how I need to live my life succesfully. Whoa, I had to retype that last sentence three times because my brain is jumping into different areas of the space time continueum. I worded the first three words of the sentence and ended the same sentence with the same three words. That is how I communicated in grade one. It may have something to do with the lack of sleep. I joined Facebook yesterday. Holy shit is it scary how connected the cyber world is on that medium. Like within a day I somehow knew where people that I used to go to church with as a kid where and shit. If they read this journal of mine, they probably won't have much to do with me. Considering the obvious recreational drug use and hate for anything religious. Though Christians claim to love all. We all know pretty much every single one of them can't stand people like me.

I have come to the realization that my purpose isn't to be a baby factory and worship some made up creator. As empty and listless as it sounds, there are more fun empty, listless things to do. Hmmm. I love that last sentence. Someone remind me of it later. I was tired about ten minutes ago. But my music is just pure energy for the soul. People who think people who listen to death metal are angry are wrong. Completely. It makes me very happy. It fills me with pure unsolicited joy. I like talent. It is incredibly refreshing from the bullshit gospel music I was raised with. Christians aren't just nuts to believe in God. But they are nuts to believe that the music played for God is good. *shudder*. I got some pictures developed yesterday that had been on a camera here for months. there were some old pictures of Morgan and I from like October or some shit. they came on a picture CD to so I could put all of them on my comp. Jimmy and I are in some great ones. I decided to not throw them out.

Nothing about that girl affects me anymore. I mine as well keep some sort of legacy of my past fuck ups. We all need reminders of stages in life we went through. Oh by the way, if anyone is interested. I put my "fuck list" on my profile on myspace. I keep adding to it. So if you want to be updated on it. You can check it out once in a while. That is where I post most of my pictures to. The URL of it is on my profile on this blog. If one more stupid fuck tells me that life is a series of moments, I will take a shit on their Mother's grave just to make there life experiences just a little less pretentious. I got into a little "bitch fest" with some 17 year old girl who was on my myspace. I added her as a friend. then she asked me why I had her added since my list sais "fuck teenagers"? I said it also sais "fuck MSN" but I am on it right now. I told her I am just basically addressing the negative in it. But there are a few good exceptions for everything. Then she said something about me being someone who is cynical and wants to die so she can't be around that kind of energy. Last time I checked, I had no desire to die.

But I guess she knows me and knows how accurately I, as a human being am represented in a profile on myspace. though I think it was of an assumption due to my music tastes. So I basically called her naive and told her she was what I hated in teenagers. That was the end of that short relationship. I would have fucked her though. In the mouth so she would never speak again. Oh I am such a dear aren't I? This is why I am grandma's little boy. I am pretty too look at and sugar and spice all over. I don't know why. But I am a big fan of this blog post. It might be my favourite one this far. Speaking of favourites. I was looking at this beautiful glock 17 handgun. Hair trigger. Automatic. Could let off three rounds in a second if you are really good. Hammerless action. A grooved firing pin. Damn it is nice. You can buy a plus two extender for the magazine to make it hold 19 .22 millimeter rounds. Boy would I love a gun. I see people everyday that it would have been useful to have for cleansing purposes. Ahh I kid. I love most people. Those I hate I don't wish death. I just wish them never where I am. Though I don't really hate anyone. It is a waste of time to hate. I just am indifferent to people. Well I am going to go see if there is something productive I can do with my life. A cigarette. That is it. Productive. Life giving. joy giving. Fresh air giving. Mmm. Fuck you non-smokers. You are missing out on one of the true greatest joys in life.