Feast of Vermin

Ugh. I feel weird this morning. I was going to lock access to my blog this morning. There have been sooooo many things I have wanted to write about but can't due to how it would or could be taken by readers. Thoughts can always be skewed by third parties. But I am warning you all now. If you don't have access to my blog, it is because I don't like you. Haha. Just kidding. It is most likely that everyone doesn't have access. Or maybe it will be just you. Who knows? Just don't worry about it if it happens is what I am saying. I have doubts and trepidations I have felt the need to write out lately. But I can't with all of your prying eyes. Writing things out helps me to bring everything up to a very conscious level. It is my only real release in my life right now. I don't live in France so I don't have a woman to smack around. I don't live in Africa so I don't have black people to hack up with machetes. I don't live in Italy, so I don't have sheep to have sex with. I don't live in New york so I don't have the option of shooting or cutting the throat of whoever I feel like.

I don't live at home anymore, so my Mom doesn't give me that great head I used to get. Just no release anymore. What is the world coming to huh? When all we have is this. Electronic bullshittery. Hmmm. That sounds like a great title for my blog. Oh yes I don't have a title right now. I have a picture. But when I get bored of it, someone remind me of that. I watched the best love story I have ever seen last night. It was pretty tragic. But not tragic in the cheesy way like the love of your life gives up his life for his lover bullshit. It is about the tragedy of psychosis love can cause making you inevitably the one who destroys it. It was a pretty nuts head trip. Drugs were of course involved. Reminded me of some aspects of my life. It showed exactly what is true about life. There isn't true love. Just a perception of it that can be changed or not. When you believe love is true it is. When you no longer believe it it isn't. Love is just a state of mind. It isn't something you can grasp like God or salvation. You create it and destroy it. I can't even remember the name of the movie.

But it was cynical as fuck as far as love goes which is why it was good. It wasn't idealistic and trying to pull your heart strings to suck you into it. Fascinating story. I will figure out the name of it and tell you to watch it. In the morning I have this playlist titled "Morning Death Rising". It is just about ten hours of the most brutal technical death metal I have ever heard. Being able to put this much music on random and every song just pummel my senses with incredible writing, phrasing, insane face melting tapping and just over all devastating distortion and sound. It makes me very happy that I am me. That I am not out there listening to second rate music and enjoying it. I know for a fact when I had different shittier tastes in music, that I didn't love music near as much as I do now. I chalk that up to my having an incredible taste for very talented musicians and it just makes me warm all over to hear it. Beneath the Massacre, Job for a Cowboy, and Behemoth are playing at the Opera House in November. I think Kris and I are going to go together. I am really excited.

This will be my third time seeing Beneath the Massacre. I have never seen the other two bands before. In fact I just started listening to Job for a Cowboy a couple weeks ago. I downloaded their album Genesis. It is quite good. I wonder if they knew that Rotting Christ also has an album named Genesis. That is also the first book of the bible. The name of a band as well. They should have just stayed away from that name. Can you not get in trouble for naming your album when there is already an album named that? I know there is also two movies called "The Patriot". I thought you wouldn't be allowed to do shit like that either. I thought we were in a society where duplicating anything was a big no no. But who knows. I am no law clerk. Nor do I plan on being one anytime soon. That seems like something a law clerk would know though. I haven't really felt like talking to anyone yet today. So I haven't been. People who message me (which happens when they see my music playing) I have just been ignoring. There isn't anyone I would rather be talking to over doing this.

By doing this, I mean listening to metal and blogging. When I have a conversation with people often my music just drones as a backround noise and I can't pay attention. I don't like that. Especially when the conversations are usually just pointless bullshit anyway. Certain people have a certain loyalty behind talking to certain people when they are online. I am trying to break that. There shouldn't be anyone that I talk to no matter what. It will limit my life experiences to much having to much structure to it. Though I do have an incredibly structured life. But Life does that when you work. Someone want to leave the continent with me soon? I do mean soon too. Like over Christmas Break? Or March Break? Or even just whenever. I want to travel. I wouldn't mind doing it alone. But I think it would probably be more fun with someone. Go check out the south of France with me and Amsterdam and Vienna, and Venice, and the Vatican City. Italy. All of it. Actually fuck England. I don't need to go there. The accent is annoying. I can't believe they were the ones who settled here.

Who would have thought they knew how to sail a boat. Never mind nearly wipe out a whole race. Oh yes they weren't normal British folk. They were the Puritans. The really conservative Christians if you will. No pre-marital hand holding. If so that hand was baptized in murcury and sulpheric acid. I don't know if those two things mixed would do anything. But it sounded cool and I know they are quite deadly on their own. So I am sure together they wouldn't be too great. I need a smoke. I will be back as soon as it is done. Alright. Now I feel much more satisfied then usual. It is getting cooler at nights now. it is actually nice. I don't mind having to wear a hoody when I go out. I love hoodies and I have nice, very comfortable ones. I am so glad that today I am just relaxing and not doing much. It has been a while since I have done that. School is starting soon. Well not for me obviously. But most of my friends here go to university. Dave doesn't. Nor Seb.

So that is two people I don't have to worry about only partying on weekends with. that will be moreso for Jimmy and that house crew. All of them living there I think are in school. I don't know if Joel Elliot is actually. But probably. Whenever I am composing a blog post, on the bottom corner of Internet Explorer it always tells me I have an "error on page." Never fails. But it never seems to affect anything. I wonder what the error is. I have been drinking a new coffee lately. Folgers French Vanilla. Now I quite often have french vanilla. But I had never had Folgers. It is excellent and I really reccomend it. It's scent really fills the house too. It smells like french vanilla more then any other kind I have had other then when you buy the flavoured coffee beans and grind them yourself. Tat is of course the best way to have coffee. Well I think I am going to wrap this up for the day. Have a lovely day everyone. Cheers!