Darling. You saved me from imminent life.

Good morning blokes. I am feeling a little bit better this morning. This dry cough is still sticking with me and my neck feels like it has seized from falling asleep on the couch. OK I am back. Oh right. You guys didn't know I was gone. The scent of french vanilla coffee reached my nose and reminded what I wasnt doing yet. Drinking coffee. But that has been quickly remedied. Cigarette will be soon. One of the worst things about being sick and your throat and lungs being affected, is the fact that I can't really enjoy smoking. It just hurts like a motherfucker. But everytime I am sick as a dog and am still smoking, it reminds me of how addictive it really is. And how much I am in love with the addiction. Yesterday was a long day at work due to not feeling well. It seemed to drag on forever. Standing when feeling weak seems to make you focus on time more because you want it done with. But because I am focussed on the time, counting the seconds, it makes time fucking drag at a snails pace. But I got quite a bit done. I posted another four weeks worth of scheduling up.

Placed the order. It is a large one. We have a bin end sale going on. Sawmill Creek has a red and a white going on sale for $6.99 a bottle or $79.99 a case. Which is twelve bottles. So we have to order a lot of cases of the shit. I hate bin end sales. It drives our average sale down and just encourages our clientelle to buy shit wines. It combats with my ability to sell good wine. But the marketting people at Vincor are idiots. They aree always pushing the cheap wines. they always put the already cheap wines on sale. That is rediculous to me. The cheap wines sell themselves, because they are cheap. We don't need to lower the prices. But if we started putting higher end bottles at a dollar off, we could more effectively start pushing the higher end wines. But fuck. Corporate undermines that at every turn. So I have my job made harder by trying to convince the customers that they should buy an expensive bottle of wine that isn't on sale, as opposed to the already cheap bottle of wine that on top of that is on sale too. Let me tell you, it is a challenge.

But one I will undertake nonetheless. I can still sell good wine. Don't get me wrong. But I bet you I could do it even far more effectively then I already do if they put some intelligent people in marketting. I have sent them a few e-mails already addressing this. In fact, they should just give me a fucking job. Anyways, enough about my job. Lets get into my head a little bit. Lately I have been thinking a lot about our origins. Not me specifically. But life in general. Don't take that as me searching for God or anything. I don't like what that implies. But as far as I can tell, our lives have no purpose. Not that that bothers me, I don't feel the need to fit into some higher power's master plan to feel my life is worth living. But this is why it seems to me we are here just by random chance. I don't see an all encompassing purpose. I don't see any at all. If anything we are the worst disease to hit this planet. The insane amount of suffering and evil my race has caused is absolutely mind blowing. By "my race" I meant the human race. Not white people. Because every race has done terrible fucking things.

Sure we did some terrible things enslaving the black people and such. But over on their continent the black people are fucking killing each other in the hundreds of thousands in very crual heartless ways. Actions I am not capable of. What makes someone capable of these heinous deeds? Because it is absolutely impossible for me to be able to do these kinds of things. I am the kind of human being who while growing up would just cry if I was yelled at. What makes them able to take joy out of cutting off the breasts of nursing mothers with machetes. How can anyone beat on there kids? Why are we so eager to get into wars? We are fully aware of the cost of war. The biggest cost is human life. Yet we seem so willing to pay that price. Yeah. I don't see a purpose for us. There is no doubt this place would be better off if we didn't exist. But alas, we do. So I am going to do my best to not become part of the cruel side of humanity. Though that won't take to much effort. I am not a violent person. I hate violence. It makes me anxious. It makes me nervous.

On top of all these assholes that have existed in history though. There are some incredible people. We all know of incredible people. Even a lot of us have friends we would consider incredible human beings. That there is the joy in life. Discovereing these people and sharing a bond with them. There are so many people these days it almost seems harder to connect with them. Especially with the invention of the internet. I think that is why I have always taken a more direct approach to getting to know people. Not beating around the bush. Being fairly open about my own life. The right people pick up on that and it opens them up a bit. I love brief moments of revelation about someones life. It feels like some sort of accomplishment. If I like a person when I barely know them, I always want to get to know them better because I am sure I will like them more and more the more I get to know them. Alright. I think I am going to wrap this up on that note. Oh wait! Did you guys notice the kitty I added to my blog? It is on the side panel. (To you kids who read my blog from facebook, it is on my actual blog site so you won't see it) You can pet it with your mouse cursor. It purrrrs. It meows. It is a lot of fun. Now I am looking for pacman. Anyways, I hope you kids have a lovely day. Cheers!