Comforting Prejudice

Good morning everyone. I don't know why the fuck I am up this early. It is only a little after 7. But sleep wasn't very welcoming. I had this weird burning sensation in my throat that made me cough when I breathed deeply. You need to breathe deeply to sleep. So I gave up the battle very quickly. Plus my cat was looking at me from the foot of my bed with those bedroom eyes. I couldn't resist getting up and petting her and giving her kisses. That drove sleep even further from my mind and a shower became a higher priority. I love showering. Now I am clean, handsome, and ready for the world. There is something that strikes me as rediculous about our existence. But I can't quite seem to put my finger on it. Have any of you ever hated what you have loved most in this world? I was analyzing that experience the other day. Because obviously there wre periods where I loved Morgan with everything I was. Obviously because I wanted to marry her and let her fuck me around a few times. I think that experience is what may have changed me more then a lot of things. It does something to your mind when something that meant the world to you becomes meaningless.

It portrays more clear then anything else I have experienced, the fallibility of human beings. How those who are perfect in your eyes have the ability to taint it. Even when there was a time where you would have sworn up and down being with that person forever and that nothing could darken them in your eyes. How naive my life can be. I had been reading for a while on the internet about these certain frequencies that if you play them, they throw off your equilibrium. They can scramble your brains signals a little bit if you blast them in your ear. So I downloaded a bunch of them off of the internet. Some of them worked, some of them didn't. I walk up and down my apartment at different speeds with different sounds. Some of them make me quite stumbly and I almost appear drunk. Or I do full out appear drunk. But I also have been creating playlists of these sounds and realized that combinations of some of these sounds affect my motor skills even more.

For example, yesterday I went to reach for my coffee cup, and missed the handle twice in a row. It seemed my depth perception was really off. Some of these frequencies are intensely high and painful. So if you value your hearing maybe you shouldn't try it. But it is a fascinating experience I must say. It seems like a moderately safe way to fuck with your brain. Or I am playing with fire and don't know it. But I doubt that. I have a coffee in my vacinity right now. You all know what that means. The smell... the taste... it beckons to be paired with a cigarette. But I am in a particularily decent mood this morning. I am going to up that by smoking the good ol' black death. Djarums. I still can't believe you didn't llike them Lesley. Blows my mind that anyone can't like them. Jon doesn't either. I think it was Jaime maybe who was telling me that it made other cigarettes seem like shit. Which is true. Other cigarettes are shit compared to these. If you haven't had Davidoff's, go try them. You will pay around 18 bucks for a twenty pack of them. But Jesus Christ they are amazing.

Very fucking strong. Not as strong as Djarums mind you. But I don't think I have ever had a cigarette as strong as Djarums. They contain the same amount of tar as marijuana. Which averages four times the amount of tar as a regular cigarette. I got my Necrophagist ticket in the mail a couple days ago. So now I am all set for the two important events for me this summer. I have my Summerfolk ticket as well. I like to get these things paid ahead of time. I am all about being prepared for the future now. Now all I have to do is show up. The financial side is taken care of. The Summer Slaughterhouse Tour is going to be incredible. You kids from back in Owen Sound should come to it. It will be amazing. It is on July 2nd at The Opera House. The day before that, Jimmy is throwing a Canada Day party which is going to be fun as hell. I think Tom, Mark, and Kris might be coming up for that. I hope so anyway. Oh I think Keith might be as well. I can only hope. I love that man dearly. Well I love all those kids. They are metal after my own heart. I tried to talk Erro into coming.

But he isn't into live shows. that blows my mind. There is something about watching a musician play that kicks the shit out of just listening to it. Especially seeing Muhammed Suicmez play. I have of course seen Necrophagist before. Back in October. It was incredible. Best guitarist I have seen live. Though Sammi was just as good. He is the new Necrophagist guitarist. They also got a new drummer. He is much better then their old one. Has more of a jazzy style of drumming. A lot of metal drummers are very fast but kind of boring because they use not much else then the snare and bass drum.I have this bottle of Cabernet Shiraz in my room. I want to keep it around for ten years or so before I open it. I have to keep it on its side. that way the cork doesn't get dry and cracked. That is why Wine Racks store your bottles sideways. Because if they are upright for long periods of time, the cork dries out and gets cracked and the wine goes bad. It gets corked, is the term.

Has a bad smell and taste, due to the oxidents being released that keep it crisp and fresh tasting. Mark. On Sunday it has been two weeks. You said you would learn Totalitarian Hypnosis by Beneath the Massacre by then or you owe me twenty bucks. Jesus Christ. The cat just scared the fucking shit right out of me. It jumped into my lap while I was typing. That is jarring. Especially when something lands in your crotch region. I almost spilled my coffee all over myself. But now it is just vibrating in my lap. Cats are better than dildos. Unless there are dildos that actually produce heat. I am sure they exist. Lube and condoms that heat up exist. So I would hope sex toys have that technology. Not saying my cat is a sex toy... ahem. Well I am being distracted by conversations with my Grandmother and such. So I am going to sign off on that note. Cheers everyone!