An orgasm is like Jesus. Over rated.

Morbid desire to burn... Oh... hello there. I was into the music and singing along. Didn't notice you all there. Maybe I should focus on the task at hand. Though I don't think I consider writing a task. Well it depends. If it is something I have to write. Something I don't want to write. Then it is work. Doing this blog thing is moreso just routine. One I am glad I have gotten into. I will have a fairly decently recorded life. Closing shift yesterday was interesting. All the drunks who drink sherry came out of the woodwork and shamefully fumbled with money and snatched the bottles from me. Downcast eyes knowing that I know what they know. Their life is a pathetic mess. But I am alright with that. I figure most people go through messy times in life. Those who don't ever, I just always assume are lying. Wow. I just accidently hit backspace and this blog went back a page. I thought I had lost what I had written thus far. But then I remembered that blogger automatically saves it like every thirty seconds. So I just had to go into drafts. I pulled it up. Here it was. Every single word saved.

Thank goodness. I hate the idea of losing what I wrote. Because I can never recreate it the way I had it and it is lost forever. Ottawa lost last night. They are fucked. Anaheim has the cup. Emery did amazing in goal. His team hung him out to dry. They weren't pinching well in the neutral zone. They kept shooting it up the middle and the Anaheim forwards would intercept it a lot and start a rush into the opposing zone. So Ottawa never really got off of their heels. When A team wins the first two games in the finals, in NHL history they won 29 times and lost once. So Ottawa has the odds far against them. Montreal is the only team to have ever won the Stanley Cup after losing the first two. That was in 1971. Haha. I am so full of hockey trivia. I think it is because my memory has improved dramatically since I have given up being a stoner. So I can use it for more things. One thing I would never want to lose is my memory. I don't even care if I go a little nuts and my brain gets a little fucked. I just want to always have my memory. Alzheimer's would kill me.

But at the same time it would be interesting to experience knowing and loving your partner one second and then having no idea who they are the next. So much so that if they got hit by a truck you would feel only bad because you witnessed someone die a pointless death. But there would be no emotional attachment. Imagine if we could through technology find that switch in the brain? Decide which memories to keep and which ones to lose. Would you want to delete any information that is in your brain? Something really bad or painful? Or would you be too afraid of what it might do to the rest of your memory? See I also kind of think that everything I have ever experienced is connected. So if you removed something my whole memory and everything as I know it may collapse. That I would not like. I also feel that I can live quite comfortably with the knowlege of sins I have commited. Shit happens. People move on. Life goes on. It isn't holding me back. But man... Fooling around with the human brain. If I was old I would volunteer myself for some experiments for sure.

We have more power in our head then we realize. I want to realize it. Can someone answer this for me? I have had conflicted information about the average percentage that a human uses their brain. I think I have heard more then other numbers that we use around thirteen percent of our brain. But as I said. I am not sure. I have heard different numbers. But generally they are all under thirty percent. Who knows? Maybe we CAN read minds once we discover how to use the rest of it. Telekinesis may not be an impossibility. All these abilities we may have built in. We just don't know how to access them. There are lots of people in the world who claim to read minds. We should be studying their brains. Maybe we could tap into the Collective Conscious with the rest of our minds ability. Maybe we would all feel more empathy if that was the case. If a negative energy is cast out due to say genocide going on in Africa. If we felt that in our daily lives. That pain and anguish and terror.

Maybe we could get more positive shit done here. We are all so focussed on our personal paths that we are leaving the old and the weak, the poor and the hungry behind. We are told it is because they are lazy and useless. I am just as guilty of the apathy suffered by everyone. I see a shitload of homeless people whenever I am in Toronto. I am pretty sure I could not help any of them. Because I can't help all of them. That is my mentality. It is our social disease. Because we can clothe and feed them all. Even just you and I could. The non-rich and powerful. The working class could afford to make a difference in the world. But you won't because I won't. And I won't because you won't. And we all won't because we all aren't. For those stupid reasons, people are starving. Sleeping on freezing cold cement. These people can't even complain. They have no one who will listen to them. Yet a hundred people in a day will hear our bitchings and maybe even help with them. Though our problems aren't near as severe. If they even can be called problems. Lets give a homeless man an online blog.

I would like to see what they have to rant about. See how they view the world. How he takes being lied to a million times a day by people saying they have no change. Pretty much everyone has change. We just don't feel they deserve our hard earned money. If they ask, they have earned it. It is a humiliating thing to ask others for charity. You know they are truly at the bottom when they are doing so. I don't know why this was on my mind today. I really don't. It wasn't even on my mind earlier at all. You guys read it as it came to my head. Everyone should start counterfeiting money. Abssolutely everyone. We will make the currency useless. Hording wealth is a bad trend. We all have been guilty of it. I am ashamed. But I am also aware, that whenever I feel these things, they seem so fucking temporary. Then the apathy sets back in. I focus on what I have to do here and now with my life. Fuck everyone elses life. I don't see them or hear them.

Their pain is no longer prominant. That was just a moment of weakness this morning. You need to help yourself survive. They have a brain, leave them to salvage themselves. These are the things that I am predicting will happen not to much longer from now. I don't even neccasarily hate that about myself. Maybe that is my problem. I am conflicted. But at the same time, being conflicted means I am thinking. If I am thinking I must be alive. So, I can't really complain about anything. Life is quite the journey. Can be fun as hell. Painful as fuck. But damn if you don't learn. I love learning. That is what you should spend life doing. You have never learned everything. It is the age of information. We have never had so much access to it. But you need the art of weeding through the bullshit. That is the toughest part about learning. Though, there is no such thing as useless information. You just haven't been in a situation where it has become handy yet. But all information is good information. Knowlege is power. I whole heartedly believe that. Well I think I am going to sign off on this now. I am not even completely aware of what I all wrote in this. I was in the zone. Anyways, I hope you all have a lovely day. Cheers!