Fuck the dolphins.

I just finished watching a video on someones Facebook on the Japanese capturing and killing dolphins. For food I might add. Whoever was doing the filming and editting, sure knew how to make them look like pricks. Like calling the dolphins "mothers" and "children", calling for their "families". I hate it when people get on some band wagon and try to humanize something that isn't human. I commented on it and told them that they should not be worrying about that at all until we can stop our own species from starving to death. It isn't even something like they are killing them so rich people can hang cool looking fins on their walls. They are for food. Trust me, the orient needs as much of that as they can get. The music in the backround sucked fucking ass too. It was Matt Good or some other such bullshit. I am listening to Odious Mortem right now. Wow. They blow my mind. Completely. Creative. Spastic. Talented. Fast. Brutal. Melodic. And better then you. So I watched the Pittsburg and Ottawa game last night.

What an amazing game it was. Ottawa won. I kind of want them to win the series. But I also wanted the series to be tight. So I was hoping they wouldn't win last night. But it was solid end to end action and the goalies were top nothc. Probably the most entertaining game I have seen in the playoffs yet this year. Jimmy you were a sucker to be working. You need a job where you work in the mornings. Or you need to sign up for morning shifts. Nicole has left on a ten day bullshit retreat. Ahem. I mean Buddhist. Those words are so close that I get them mixed up. My bad. She is cleaning her body of the crap. No smoking. No drugs. No alcohol. No meat. I couldn't do it because of the lack of fleash eating and lack of smoking. Quitting drugs and drinking for ten days would be no problem. All that means is that I would have a down weekend. Oh another reason I couldn't go. It is a religious affair. So I am as keen on doing it as going to a Christian detox centre. They are all the same to me.

Man-made abstracts that really don't make sense. I figure once you can go ten days clean on your own power without religious backing, you are doing pretty good. But anyone can do it at a religious centre. When Morgan left me, I quit doing all drugs and drinknig for around 40 days or so. Because I wanted to and needed to. So I did. It was a good show of personal strength on my part. To be able to do something that not to long before that I was sure I could never do. When I did that, I broke the need for drugs. Now I recreationally use them on weekends at times. But I stay sober during the week. Oh I don't think I mentioned this in my blog yet. I don't drink anymore during the week either. I stay sober whenever here with my Grandma now. She had a couple minor episodes of light headedness and feeling like she was going to faint. Which she has never done before. But one day she almost fell over and Grandma said the room was spinning. I was kind of drunk at the time. I helped her lay down.

While she was sleeping her face was half down which made me worried that she was stroking in her sleep. So I woke her up and she was fine. But I was paranoid all night. Because I was drunk I couldn't distinguish between what was just paranoia and what I should actually be worried about. If something fucked up happened while I was drunk, I could never forgive myself. I am not just someone who is rooming with her. She is my Grandma and I need to be responsible with taking care of her. I think everything has died down between Nicole, Jimmy, Kayla, and I etc. Well it was mostly between Nicole, Jimmy, and I. But I think the realization that it wasn't a big deal and that no one really cares came about quickly. Which is good. Though they are cute when indignant and angry. I upped my privact settings on my Facebook. I realized that even if you weren't my friend you could see my profile and contact info and Notes and such. I changed that when I found out.

I am trying to consistently force myself to write a large chunk everyday and read a large chunk everyday. Just because it is good practice for learning how to express myself well. I figure if I keep this up for ten years, my writing will definately improve. Because I read I will also institute what I read and techniques for writing into what I write. Because obviously I don't want to go to school for it. Plus I don't want my way of analyzing things and writing things to be as structured as school kids. I will be able to keep a certain type of originality because I have never spent a day in a classroom. I enjoy how eratic my writing to get. Most ideas are presented to linear for my liking. When I present mine in a non-linear fashion people tell me it isn't clear. (Jimmy) But you are in school and you think everything should be done the "right, english major, creative writing" way. Ha, fuck that. That is your job, not mine. We are not of a linear consciousness.

We just try to represent it that way so the masses have common ground that we can all understand. But I have enough common ground with the masses. I have ten fingers. Ten toes. Eyes ears. I am therefore I think. Etc. and bullshit. We need a revolution yes. But it starts in your own mind. You revolt against comfort. You revolt against fear. The number one thing you revolt against. Is fear of offending or angering people. Because it will always happen. I attribute me thinking that to my brash side. My brutally honest side. My fuck you side. That most of you love, most of the time. But sometimes it can inconvenience you. I understand that. But in the end it doesn't really matter. It didn't really matter. You have pretty much forgotten it already. Dave you are a good man. I just felt like saying that. Well, you are all awesome. I will tell you who is awesome. Nicole, I love you. Jimmy, I love. Dave, I love you. Kayla, I love you. Mike, I love you. Lesley, I love you. Jon, I love you. But I must go. I am tired of writing. Cheers!