Change is always happening. Yet we are all still scared shitless of it. Only in the last year of my life have I learned to welcome it. Realizing that comfort zones definately need to be broken. It helps keep your defensives up and your wits about you. I don't want to lose my wits. It is a pretty cutthroat world out there and I want to stay on top of things as much as I possibly can. I was born naturally intelligent. But I believe you can lose that. No worries, I never plan too. I value it above most things. I value my analytical attitude. My ability to examine the world with a far more open mind than most. I don't restrict myself by religion or some other form of bullshit meant to keep us from searching for whatever it is we are searching for. I don't ever expect to find what I want to find. But I think the search is what matters. It shows me that I am self aware. That I have an incredibly powerful brain.
One that can be manipulated into hardly using for anything constructive. Someone I used to know from back in the day from church messaged me the other day. Christians when addressing me are one of the most predictable creatures in the world. You know, they tell me I am unhappy. That I am offensive to hide a scared little child who is really lost. Haha. Sounds like the cut and paste of Dr. Phil and every other pastor who has tried to convince me that I am on a path to hell and that it exists. The one thing about Christianity that over and over again tells my rational brain that it is bullshit. Is the fact that it is so very human. Incredibly so. Not much different from any other religion. The religious factions just like to argue over symantics because they need to be right in God's eyes. Combatting others seems to be their way of fulfilling that. But the manipulation tactics. The shit that God apperently cares about.
It is all stuff humans would bitch and complain about. If there was one all mighty being. I don't think he would give a fuck, when I fuck. Just classic form of social control by man. But enough of that. I am tired of this situation. I am tired of smart people going to waste in the church. Lesley has had it a little rough lately. So I have been feeling a lot of empathy for her. Which is very strange for me. I usually don't feel empathy in it's truest sense. I usually express that I feel sad that they are sad, but that is just an attempt on my part to make them feel better. True empathy is a rare feeling. But I do feel it with her. Strange huh? Maybe pointless as well. I don't know if me feeling the same way as her, with her is any good at all. But I know she will be all fine in the end. I have to go up and see her again soon. She told me she probably won't be able to make it up here until the summer. But when that happens, it will be great.
I can't wait until we go to the zoo and drink wine. I finished helping open the new Wine Rack in Georgetown yesterday. It was hectic and a hell of a lot of work. It was a lnog day as well. Because I did that early in the morning then had to be rushed back here for my normal shift of work. But the store opens at ten o'clock this morning. Hopefully the modem is up and running. They were struggling getting the POS system online. If they didn't get it online, that means all transactions will have to be cash and will have to be written down. I have had to do that before and it is a pain in the ass let me tell you. I have a Doctor's appointment today before work. I don't think I have been to a Doctor since I was electrocuted when I was 16. I have a general distaste for Doctor's and Pastor's. Both those groups of people like to fuck around with and fuck kids. So I don't trust them. I don't trust any man in a white jacket who likes to hand me pills.
I find that a little odd. I trust my own "pharmaceuticals" more then the legal ones. But the legal drug making companies make billions of dollars in profit every year. I can't trust anything that is trying to turn a profit on people health. I just can't. If you got a headache, smoke a cigarette. Toothache? Take some E. Dehydrated? Whiskey on the rocks. Nose is sore? Rail a line of coke. Bored? Drap some acid. Depressed? Shoot some heroine. Tired? Rail some Crystal Meth. Hungry? Eat some mushrooms. Not hungry? Smoke some pot. Haha. I really hope easily influenced kids read my blog. People all the way the fuck in New Jersey do. So I wouldn't be surprised. Oh and of course if you want to stay up all night essaying. Ketamine. Remember kids. Drugs are great if not abused. Kind of like anything else. Though pushing our bodies to their limits seems to be a very natural urge. I would have never known how durable mine was if it hadn't been tested now and then. We are no longer living in a survival of the fittest state. So I don't need to stay fit as all hell. I don't hunt my meat and burn my testosterone doing so. I buy my meat out of the grocery store and burn testosterone by fucking with my body. Smoking. Fucking. Etc. I have a good time doing it as well. Anyways. I am going to wrap this up. Finish off my coffee and have a smoke or three. Maybe give Jimzy a call. Though he is probably in school. I hope you all have a smashing day.
One that can be manipulated into hardly using for anything constructive. Someone I used to know from back in the day from church messaged me the other day. Christians when addressing me are one of the most predictable creatures in the world. You know, they tell me I am unhappy. That I am offensive to hide a scared little child who is really lost. Haha. Sounds like the cut and paste of Dr. Phil and every other pastor who has tried to convince me that I am on a path to hell and that it exists. The one thing about Christianity that over and over again tells my rational brain that it is bullshit. Is the fact that it is so very human. Incredibly so. Not much different from any other religion. The religious factions just like to argue over symantics because they need to be right in God's eyes. Combatting others seems to be their way of fulfilling that. But the manipulation tactics. The shit that God apperently cares about.
It is all stuff humans would bitch and complain about. If there was one all mighty being. I don't think he would give a fuck, when I fuck. Just classic form of social control by man. But enough of that. I am tired of this situation. I am tired of smart people going to waste in the church. Lesley has had it a little rough lately. So I have been feeling a lot of empathy for her. Which is very strange for me. I usually don't feel empathy in it's truest sense. I usually express that I feel sad that they are sad, but that is just an attempt on my part to make them feel better. True empathy is a rare feeling. But I do feel it with her. Strange huh? Maybe pointless as well. I don't know if me feeling the same way as her, with her is any good at all. But I know she will be all fine in the end. I have to go up and see her again soon. She told me she probably won't be able to make it up here until the summer. But when that happens, it will be great.
I can't wait until we go to the zoo and drink wine. I finished helping open the new Wine Rack in Georgetown yesterday. It was hectic and a hell of a lot of work. It was a lnog day as well. Because I did that early in the morning then had to be rushed back here for my normal shift of work. But the store opens at ten o'clock this morning. Hopefully the modem is up and running. They were struggling getting the POS system online. If they didn't get it online, that means all transactions will have to be cash and will have to be written down. I have had to do that before and it is a pain in the ass let me tell you. I have a Doctor's appointment today before work. I don't think I have been to a Doctor since I was electrocuted when I was 16. I have a general distaste for Doctor's and Pastor's. Both those groups of people like to fuck around with and fuck kids. So I don't trust them. I don't trust any man in a white jacket who likes to hand me pills.
I find that a little odd. I trust my own "pharmaceuticals" more then the legal ones. But the legal drug making companies make billions of dollars in profit every year. I can't trust anything that is trying to turn a profit on people health. I just can't. If you got a headache, smoke a cigarette. Toothache? Take some E. Dehydrated? Whiskey on the rocks. Nose is sore? Rail a line of coke. Bored? Drap some acid. Depressed? Shoot some heroine. Tired? Rail some Crystal Meth. Hungry? Eat some mushrooms. Not hungry? Smoke some pot. Haha. I really hope easily influenced kids read my blog. People all the way the fuck in New Jersey do. So I wouldn't be surprised. Oh and of course if you want to stay up all night essaying. Ketamine. Remember kids. Drugs are great if not abused. Kind of like anything else. Though pushing our bodies to their limits seems to be a very natural urge. I would have never known how durable mine was if it hadn't been tested now and then. We are no longer living in a survival of the fittest state. So I don't need to stay fit as all hell. I don't hunt my meat and burn my testosterone doing so. I buy my meat out of the grocery store and burn testosterone by fucking with my body. Smoking. Fucking. Etc. I have a good time doing it as well. Anyways. I am going to wrap this up. Finish off my coffee and have a smoke or three. Maybe give Jimzy a call. Though he is probably in school. I hope you all have a smashing day.
P.S. Don't jimmy and I look just darling in that picture?
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