Untitled #481

I am back alive. Just now beginning to catch up on rest. I had a superb birthday. Lots of poutine, strippers, hockey, friends, cold, and incredible beer. Jimmy and I arrived there about 7:30 in the morning on Friday. Decided to wander the city so we wouldn't wake our friend up to early. It was freezing there by the way. And they have fuck loads of snow. So we found a bar pretty quickly. Watched some hockey with these french old fogies playing poker on poker machines. Soon after we found a microbrewery\bar\restaurant and had the first of four or five poutines we would have that weekend. Hooked up with Will. Went to his place. Got rid of our shit. Saw him play a show. We were trying to get a hold of our friend Jacob Bader the whole time we were there. Because no one knows coke and strippers better than him. To people who read this from OS, he was in the West Rocks with us that one time.

Sophia claims they fooled around. Yes. Now you know who I am talking about. Anyways, he didn't answer his phone all weekend. Trust me. We left about 60 or 70 messages. Haha. He is moving back to NYC in January, so it was my last chance to see him. So both Jimmy and I were quite persistent. It never happened though. So before we left. Jimmy and I thought of a new sexual move called the "Master-bader". After Jacob Bader. That is when you are fucking a woman in the shower and take a shit while doing so, then snort a line off the shit floating in the water. Haha. Now when Jimmy and I headed back to Toronto on the bus, we left at about midnight Sunday. Jimmy and I decided to write a rap about Jacob Bader the Master-bader. It has a lot of classic lines like, "She screams as he tries to anally penetrate her, he sais shut up bitch this is the fucking Master-bader!"

Haha. Anyways. It will be our next rap song we record with Seb. We also made a list of things that we made up that Jacob does in the song. Like how he reads to blind children naked. Collects the toe nail clippings of children he has molested without waking up. How he drinks vials of period blood of the women he has conquested. Hires black men to be his butler so he can call them "Nigger-Jeeves". It goes on and on. We had pages of the shit. Haha. I hadn't laughed that long in a long time. Jimmy and I were probably the most annoying fucks on the bus. It was an overnight, so probably everyone but us drunken fools were trying to sleep. So all in all, I had an amazing birthday. I had a little drink and moment of silence on Saturday. Because now it is a day that I will always share with someone else an intense memory. Anyways, this has gotten far too long winded. Cheers!