Untitled #379

I just woke up from one of the most terrifying experiences of my life and I want to record it while it is still freshest in my mind. I went to Wonderland all day on Friday and had to wake up at six thirty this morning... or I should say yesterday morning to wake up and work a twelve hour day between my two jobs. Needless to say those two back to back full days and the knowlege that I have to work a nine hour day this morning made me exhausted. So I went to bed at ten. Well I woke up about fifteen minutes ago. I thought I had been sleeping for at least five or six hours. I am never one to have nightmares, or even dream that much. But oh boy. Tonight was a night of many which gave me the perception of sleeping a long time I guess. I am terrified to go back to sleep. I am not even kidding. I don't remember the ones preceding the last one which is quite vivid. I remember being afriad in one previous dream because my memories were fading. I would be walking and bits of landscape would disappear before my eyes and I could not retrieve it no matter what. But the last dream.

What made it soooo terrifying was that I was convinced it was real and I was actually awake. And I always know when I am dreaming usually and can wake myself up. Now for my last dream. I thought I had woken up from my previous nightmares and what was causing them was that I was having a stroke. I could not function the one side of my body, I was srooling all over the place, and I was mumbling in terror but couldn't scream. Or at least didn't think I could. But my hearing was also muffled and I heard blood rushing in my head. So I was scared and stumbled to my bedroom door looking for my Grandmother's room to get her to take me to a hospital. I went in to turn on the light but it wouldn't work. So I just went to her bed and started shaking her and shaking her. She woke up I could tell. But because my senses were fucked and I couldn't really hear if she was saying anything or not. So I grabbed her arm and took her to another room almost dragging her there so I cvould turn on a light and show her what was happening to me. that I was stroking out.

So I went into the kitchen. When I got there I turned on the light and it turned out to not be my Grandmother. It was some strange east Indian girl I didn't know shaking in terror looking at me like I was attacking her. After that I woke up. I was convinced I was awake. I thought for sure I was. I thought I was going to be in hospital today telling my friends I had a stroke. I truly thought it was real. I don't know if I can go back to sleep I am so scared of all the bad dreams I am having. I almost called Jaime as soon as I woke up. But I caught myself in my tired state. That isn't my place to do. But I needed to talk to someone or do something. So I decided to type here. Maybe I will look up dream meanings later. Because this is a night I will never forget. This was more traumatizing then anything I have ever experienced in real life. Hopefully I sleep better after this. I never want to experience it again.