The Right to Arm Bears

Good morning people. My tranqued ecperience last night wasn't interesting enough for me to want to talk about like I had planned. I just ended up getting tired. I only did one bump and didn't want to do anymore. It was good doing it again after not having done it for many years. But I am going to stick with what I have stuck with all these years. Not go out of my way to find it. It isn't that great. It was interesting enough for me to do it once. But I am already bored of it. You all know me. I am not one easily bored of drugs. So it must suck. It isn't intense enough for me. It is almost like the chemical version of marijuana. It turned into that by the second use. The first night don't get me wrong, was pretty fun. But not mind-blowing in any way. Kayla is leaving for two wees starting tomorrow. I missed her call last night to say good bye to me. Haha. She told me she loved me and to marry her. She must really miss me. I haven't seen her since the Canada Day Party. So another two weeks is going to be a long time. I am going to suffer withdrawel. I totally forgot she was going to call. It was probably sometime during the few hours I was talking to Jaime.

I enjoyed my conversation with her as always. Haha. I told her last night that I am aware of her malicious streak and that all the other men in her life where so head over heels for her that they just accepted it. Haha. I told her I wouldn't. I think she understands that. I am glad I can be clear with the girl. That is a very kick ass thing about her. She has got a good heart. But she is 17 and has no fucking clue what she is doing. I told her I thought she was being willfully ignorant about drama she causes. It was a very frank discussion. My favourite kind. She doesn't get angry with me either which is refreshing. She doesn't get all up and defensive when I challenge those things. She accepts that I don't believe her half the time and that for me to believe her, it will have to be shown. If there is one thing I have learned in life, blind faith leads you to two things. Heart ache, and religion. Haven't been a fan of either of them thus far. I had a pretty restless sleep last night. I don't know why. I wasn't dreaming that I am aware of. Oh yes! I just had a vague memory come to my mind.

I had a memory of someone I haven't seen in many years or even talked to. I have had the desire too. So maybe that is why she was on my mind. Some of you who read this know who Ayla is. I know you do Jimmy. I don't really remember too many details. I remember we were camping. I know the last time I spent significant time with her that is what we did. So maybe that is why I was dreaming about it. But she was also crying and telling me her brother had died. Jeff? John? I don't know. Something with a "J". It gets hazy from there though. But now that I think about that. I miss the girl. I was going to get together with her before the end of the summer. Because she was going somewhere. But work was just as insane then as it is now. I am thinking she will be back in the city in the fall. So I will try and conect with her then. I love connecting with people I haven't seen in years. Something very invigorating about it. My brother and his common law wife are split again. He is living on the farm where he used to live with his best friend. I told you all how his friend got killed by a tractor rolling on him.

Very sad. So I think he is going through some rough times right now. My heart is full of empathy for my brother right now. He lost his best friend. He is losing his family. That can't be easy. It is hard for me to get a hold of him because we are both very busy people. He works a lot and hard too. I don't know where my and my brother get it. Because both my parents are lazy as fuck. Maybe it skips a generation. So people. Send positive vibes my brothers way. he needs it right now. I am sure there is something to the power of human consciousness. He needs positive energy right now I am sure. He has a good heart too. So I am sad to see him like this. If any of my attractive female friends out there would like to lay him, that would be good too. He is less good looking then me. But more stocky and built. He has a quick mouth and is very funny and social like I am. Also very crazy. But in a competely different way then me. I like to fuck around with my body and mind. he likes to operate machinary recklessly and at high speeds. My brother buys cheap vehicles for one hundred or two hundred dollars.

Takes them to the back fourty. Smashes the windows out. Puts padding on the steering wheel. Puts his dirt bike helmet one. Put snow pants and a jacket on. Takes a run at the hill and turns the vehicle side ways and rolls it down the hill with himself inside. I am not even joking. My brother has done that threee or four times. He is a dare devil. I am sometimes very scared in vehicles with him. But he is also very good at it. So at the same time I feel safe. It is quite the adrenaline rush if anything being with the boy. But he is a very funny man. I have an amazing time when I am with him. We have had some rough times in the past him and I. Some falling outs. But we grew up together and we lied for each other. Tried protecting each other from my Dad's beatings. So even though we go through some shit, we are still brothers who were best friends most of our lives. My kitty hates that I give my blog more attention in the mornings than her. She keeps jumping at me and scaring me, trying to get me to play with her. But to no avail. She will have her turn with me.

She is just full of beans at this time of the day quite often. Quite often I am not here at this time of day. So she is happy about it. Jesus do I love Spawn of Possession. Just thought I would throw that in there considering I had stopped writing for ten minutes just to rock out and absorb it. There is a video on youtube of Kris playing Stillborn One by Necrophagist. He does it very well. If anyone wants to see it let me know and I will send you the link. Very good guitar player considering he has been doing it less than two years. He is better than most people I know who have been playing... well a really fucking long time. Most musicians reach a point and don't get beyond it though. Generally because a musician never gets better than the music he listens too. And most of them listen to shit music. But they think it is good. So they think they are good when they hit that level and then don't advance. Quite a brutal unfortunate cycle. Especially in genres like country music, folk, pop, etc. Genres like classical, jazz, and metal, generally have very progressive musicians.

Which is why my music is usually metal and is always influenced by either classical or jazz or both. Even rock music sucks. Especially with how dilluted rock music has become. It doesn't even have the whole rebelling against society thing going for it anymore. It is just a paddle boat without paddles. Going wherever the tides take it. And that is never good. Haha. One of my very Christian friends Katrina Gascho. She is a very close friend of mine. Well she has a picture of her on the MSN convo. It is her in a dress and her shoulders are obviously showing because dresses tend to do that. I told her it was a cute picture of her. But you can see her shoulders. And Jesus doesn't like shoulders. Haha. She is very good-hearted about my light hearted cracks at her loving Jesus. She is one of those Christians that if they were the majority, I may be talked into converting. But she definately isn't. And I am definately not converting. It would take one very hot Christian girl proposing to me for me to convert. I mean Angelina Jolie hot. Well I think I am done with this for the day. I am caught up in my conversation with the gal. I don't talk to her enough. Cheers!