Expletive deleted. On second thought, fuck you all.

Good morning. Maybe. I don't think there is much good about it. Well I am sure there is. I just feel groggy and one of the balls from the bar bell from my nipple piercing fell out. That is a piss off and a half. I will look in my bed later. On an upper note, I may have found the girl of my dreams. I barely know her. Her views on marriage I think may be like mine. Fun is the key. Sounds good. Maybe sometime I will tell her. Or maybe I will get distracted and forget. But maybe she is a powerful person who will remind me everyday. Blah. But who cares. If it happens it happens. I hope it does with a stranger. 'Tis the season for gay assed prom. I never went. Refused to in fact. I had someone else go with the girl I was dating at the time. Haha. I am an asshole. But the idea of school dances bother me. The music would suck. The atmosphere would suck. I know youi are all going to say that I go to raves and dance. Yeah that is a hell of a lot different. That is a nice relaxed atmosphere.

Everyone is fucked up. Everyone wants to get laid. It isn't some social status game where the pretty people get dates and win King and Queen and ther such exclusive bullshit that makes other people feel like crap. Those are the kinds of places where you want to burn the motherfucker down. They teach you how to be classist before you are even out of high school. My customers and boss loved my hair. I had no doubt my boss would. I dfigured my customers wouldn't care what I do. They all like me because I am very friendly and know a lot about wine. See you get to a point in your job, where you are good enough to be able to do shit like that. If I am so good at helping people and reccomending wine. If I make the company a lot of money. My results are all that matter. because they are great. Which is why my boss nor my customer base cared. I was actually shocked at the amount of compliments I got. The grocery store my Wine Rack is located in, the Store Manager, Peter I think hated my hair.

Which was golden. because I work in his building. But he can't do fuck all about it. When I got off work again last night, my Grandma was even more of a douche to me. I lost it on her and I haven't spoken to her since and told her I wouldn't until she apologizes to me. She has been mean and hurt my feelings multiple times just because I dyed my hair. I told her to tell me what I did wrong. I told her dying my hair was not a wrong act no ifs ands or buts about it. She told me I needed to grow up. I told her sarcastically that yes my maturity has always been defined by the pigment of my hair. I also told her that I would remind her little old lady friends with purple tinged hair that they are immature too because of how they dye their hair. I just used sarcasm and logic over and over again until she stopped trying to convince me that I was immature because of the colour of my hair.

I told her I was still the same hard working responsible person I was the day before with brown and blonde hair and stop being stupid about it. This kind of thing stresses me out. Because I love my Grandmother. But she really hurt me yesterday. I told her so. I said it was a sad day when my boss is more accepting of me then my own Grandmother. That was the icing on the cake and we haven't spoken since then. I am quite sure she will apologize sooner or later. That is how she is. She is generally a sweet heart. I also asked her what the fuck she was going to do once I got tattoos. that is permanently dyed skin. this is only temporarily dyed hair. She has known all along I plan on getting them. I guess in her mind they are slightly more socially acceptable. Like I am a person to dance around social conventions. People sure like to create drama out of the most stupid rediculous shit. Anyways. I am going to stop immortalizing this drama on the internet and write about something more interesting.

It was incredibly tempting to buy hair dye and dye my Grandmother's hair in her sleep. But that is moreso just a funny thought that I would never follow through on. I do another closing shift today. I hate working at night. But the boss lady wants her top selleer to work sometimes during peak hours. But fuck. After 5:30 at night, I just want to relax and read. Maybe walk. Listen to talk radio. Smoke. Contemplate. Scheme. Create. Destroy. I want to contradict everything I believe in a span of a second and be back to where I was. Because I am like all of you. I walking contradiction. Beliefs. They are just made to make fools of us all. Because we fail whatever belief we pick up. Beliefs are just things that can be used as ammo against us when we fuck up. God, King, and Country. Three things you believed in for thousands of years back in the day. All of them failed all the fucking time. Believe in yourself. At least when you let yourself down, you know exactly why.

You can usually be more forgiving of yourself then others. At least I would hope. If you don't have the ability to forgive yourself, you are quite fucked. Screw your agendas and plans. Wing it from here. I am sure the wind of time will take you into much more interesting places then anything you have planned. Well I am bored of this. I hope I get to see you soon. You being Jaime. Come up when you have a couple weeks off. I will show you my life from the inside. I like to think it is more interesting then I am able to express on here. But who knows. I am going to run kiddies. Have a lovely day. Cheers!