Children make good coffee tables.

Good morning fucks. I actually haven't found anything too good about it yet except for my old stand by coffee and cigarettes. But to me that is always going to be a given that those are good. Unless my throat is so damn sore it feels like piranhas are feasting on it everytime I take a drag. I spent a lot of time yesterday regurgitating shit I know about wine. I have never had a day where customers where so inquisitive and didn't just take my word for it and by the fucking wine. They wanted to know all the pretentious details. But I always enjoy knowing more about wine then other people. So it was an amusement for me. The general two questions I always get asked about wine are "is it dry?" Which of course mean it is a zero or one in sugar count. Zero is bone dry. One is dry. The other question I get asked is "is it full bodied?" Both of those are easy questions to answer. Especially since they can read the answer them selves right by the price tag. The number one stupid question I get asked is for wine without sulphites. All wine has sulphites.

It is a product of fermentation. It gives a lot of people headaches which is why they want wine without it. Which unofrtunately I can't provide. So I usually tell them to buy a bottle anyway and they can use the headache as an excuse to not blow their fugly husband. Oh yes, most of the people who complain about sulphites are women. Wait. In fact I think they all have been that I have dealt with. The new episode of House last night was lame. They did something wrong (mainly Foreman) that killed a patient. So a lot of the episode was stupid emotional bullshit of having to deal with the guilt of killing someone. Though I figure if you kill someone while trtying to save them, it is quite justified. You are fucking around with the great mystery that is the human body. It is generally accepted that it is a dangerous risky thing to do. But we don't seem to be able to get over this whole dying thing. I try not to give a shit about it in the slightest. I laugh in it's face with every cigarette and every other bullshit I do to my body. This way when death finally catches up to me, it will deserve me.

I will have been spitting in it's face long enough. It is pretty overcast today which is incredibly disappointing. I had gotten used to the beautiful sun the last couple days. Fuck spring for being such a cock tease. Kind of like Angelina Jolie. Everytime I see her on the screeen she gives me those seductive eyes that just scream "fuck my ass!" But she never returns my calls. Something about not even knowing who I am. Like that ever mattered to her before. I would wear a vial of her blood around my neck. We could give each other heart biopsies (this idea is trademarked for me by the way. Don't steal it.) And we could wear a tiny chunk of each others hearts in alcohol in a vial around each others neck. Haha. I actually do hope someday I will find someone who will do that with me and a doctor willing to do it. All it is is sticking a big needle into your heart and it is has a little pincer at the end to tear a tiny piece off. It actually isn't too dangerous. But doctors like to do things only out of "neccessity". Unless you give them a shitload of money. But they are generally called plastic surgeons and dentists. Haha.

My cat just jumped face first into our glass window. She saw a squirrel. She turned into a brutal killer. Cats are such Jekyll and Hyde's. They're loving to me but seem to want to kill absolutely everything else that moves. I wonder if cats are just little fuckface chicken shits. If you are way bigger then them they befriend you just to perpetuate their own existence knowing you would tear them apart. But maybe if I was one twentieth my size my cat would probably want to turture me and kill me like it does mice. Perhaps I should kill her in case anyone used a shrinking ray on me. This way I would be safew from my cat if she was dead as sort of prevention. But the problem is that I love my cat. Even if she is a two sided coin. Anyways my pretties. Done for today. Cheers!